King Buckaroo

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I could have stayed and held on tight. Rode the thing out like King Buckaroo. But I held on to a dignity I no longer have, for a certainty which leaves me suspended.
Memories assail me at every corner. Of sunlit limbs skipping down a packhorse trail. Kissing over every bridge and under one or two. Just a mayfly dancing in my hand.
Tearing her knickers on the kitchen counter. Rocking her body like a boat in a storm. I miss the slip of her wet thighs. I miss the feel of her shoulder against mine. I thought for a while we drew closer still.
I held my breath and clung so tight and made a wish upon us both. But a breath can only be held for so long until it burns. Jealousy tore me into it’s Hell.
And so my chances get slimmer. Another one I can’t replace. And I hold too many standards and measures to be fair to someone new. I curse her for opening my eyes.

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